Space Ghost: Kyle, asses don't exist. Everyone knows that.

Moltar: Yeah, I had a roommate once... until I boiled him in his own juices.

Space Ghost: Hello, little one. I shall name you Banjo. You are mighty small, little Banjo, and your flippers are tired. But one day, you will become Banjo, King of the Sea Monkeys!

Space Ghost: What's this pod doing here?
Zorak: Replicating.
Space Ghost: Replicating what?
Zorak: Uh... us.
Space Ghost: Oh no! Replicating pods! The kind that keep you up at night with their coughing!
Moltar: No, the kind that copy your DNA, kill you off, and take over while you're sleeping.
Space Ghost: With their coughing.
Moltar: Did you hear what I just said?
Space Ghost: No one sleeps with my grandmother!

Zorak: Hey. Touch it. Go on! See what happens.
Moltar: Touch it. You know you want to.
Zorak: Come on, man. Touch it.
Moltar: Yes, feel its heat.
Zorak: Touch it.
Moltar: Stroke its supple contours.
Zorak: Nothin'll happen. Just touch it. That's what you want to do. Touch it.
Moltar: You know you want to. Touch it.
Zorak: Touch it.
Moltar: It's there for you to touch.
Zorak: You know you wanna.
Space Ghost: (pretending to touch the pod) There, I touched it. Now I have to leave.
Zorak: Oh, you did not!
Space Ghost: Yes I did; I touched it.

Space Ghost: We've got to get the blob to kill the pods!
Moltar: How are you going to do that?
Space Ghost: Hey, blob. You heard all the stuff the pods have been saying about your mother? People were laughing, man. So... you wanna come in here and... kill the pods? ... 'Cause of what they said? ... About your mother?
Blob: (murmuring noises)
Space Ghost: I'm sorry. I had no idea. ... What's that, pods? The blob is very fat?

Zorak: Any questions? Okay then. Move out, lock and load, happy birthday, and stay frosty! (gunshots heard)

Space Ghost: Gee, that's a great plan, Moltar, but if we could get to the beach, we wouldn't have to be metal plated!

Space Ghost: Unjustly? You vibro-shocked three galaxies out of existence! You stole fizzy-lifting grapes! And then you tried to steal my brain!
Zorak: Petty larceny.
Space Ghost: Do you mind, Zorak? I'm getting sued here.

Jace: Look at us! We're still teenagers! I'm stuck in a perpetual state of pre-pubescence, and it's all your fault!

Space Ghost: Oh boy, the Shatner's really hit the fan now.

Moltar: Napalm... ah, to be young again.

Space Ghost: Finally, a product for me. I believe every word that man just said, because it's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Zorak: I'm burning a hole in your head with my mind.

Space Ghost: It's like getting a scalp massage... from Lucifer.

Space Ghost: Bob, everyone knows Green Bay is not in December.

Space Ghost: If someone approached you about washing your hair, what would you say to them? I'll tell you what you should say. You'd say, "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't need large brains to have a good time."

Space Ghost: I've always been dead, Conan.
Conan O'Brian: No one can always be dead, Space Ghost.
Space Ghost: I was dead long before you were born, Conan, and I'll be dead long before you're dead.
Conan O'Brian: Space Ghost is obviously a Space Man who died and became a Space Ghost. I know you don't want the kids to know that you died, but you died, baby, and you gotta get down with that.
Space Ghost: No.
Conan O'Brian: Face it, Space Ghost!
Space Ghost: No!
Conan O'Brian: You're a Space Man that choked on a muffin!
Space Ghost: That, sir, is impossible, because I am allergic to muffins!
Conan O'Brian: Oh. I'm sorry.
Space Ghost: Yeah. You're thinking of Muffin Hunter. He's different.

Space Ghost: And would it kill you to wear some pants every once in a while?
Zorak: Are we there yet!?

Moltar: That is fascinating, Tom Yorke. You are very very interesting and very very perceptive.
Tom Yorke: Really?
Moltar: So interesting and so perceptive that I think we will now fight with knives!
Tom: What?
Zorak: Yeah! To the death!

Space Ghost: I don't need intelligence drugs, Tom, because I don't know what they are, okay Tom?
Tom: Yeah.
Space Ghost: But I will put anything into my mouth that is given to me, whether it's supposed to go there or not, because... I'm different.

Space Ghost: Those aren't children; they're packets of cream cheese.

Space Ghost: You handle the salads until you get killed.

Space Ghost: Now, woodpile, did you or did you not masquerade as eels and shock Zorak with that wrench? Answer me! Now what about these beans?
Moltar: Those must have fallen out of my hair. (silence) Well, you're just makin' all this (beep!) up! Oh, what, you're the only one that gets to make (beep!) up? (sighs) Those are part of the dinner.
Space Ghost: No, they're not. They're part of a plot.
Moltar: They were on the menu.
Space Ghost: Murder is on the menu.

Space Ghost: Let's go back inside where the gas is!

Space Ghost: Do you think that Walt would be interested in that?
Moltar: Um, Walt Disney is dead.
Space Ghost: Who killed Walt Disney!? ... With a wrench?
Moltar: No one!
Space Ghost: Walt Disney makes me sweat! Is he gonna sue us?
Moltar: Walt Disney is dead!
Space Ghost: I know! My god, how many times do I have to tell you that?

Zorak: You sucked all the lights out!
Moltar: No, man, I blew the fuse's mind.

Zorak: We have your guest!
Space Ghost: And my TV!
Zorak: And we have many demands that are very unreasonable!
Moltar: And disorganized! We have to sort them out and prioritize, 'cause some of the demands maybe aren't as strong as others... and still others aren't as outrageous, so they go in a separate box, and the ones from the... ah...
Zorak: Just give us two weeks.

Zorak: Would you feel better if I jabbed you in the eyes?

Brak: Oh, I know what I like to eat!
Moltar: What?
Brak: Boogers.
Moltar: (sighs)
Brak: I'm not a cook, I'm a villain.

Space Ghost: Look, Zorak, look! Look!
Zorak: Ooh, an envelope.
Space Ghost: Not just an envelope; it's the envelope. The envelope of goodness.
Zorak: Igh! Keep it away from me!
Space Ghost: It gives me the power to get twelve CDs for a penny!

Space Ghost: I like that that happened. I'm gonna do that again.

Space Ghost: Anybody else have any questions for Dennis? Any one? Any one? Any one?
Moltar: Try this one.
Space Ghost: "Nice jacket, Fonzie.'" And you want me to say this? Out loud? To Dennis?
Moltar: Go on.

Space Ghost: I beat up Charleton Heston once.
Dennis Leary: When?
Space Ghost: Over the holiday.
Dennis Leary: In your one-dimensional world, you beat up Charleton Heston.
Space Ghost: Yeah, I hit him over the head with some books.
Dennis Leary: So, you're actually bragging about beating up a man who must be in his late 80s, is that correct?
Space Ghost: Eh, late 80s, early 90s.

Zorak: I am the lone locust of the apocalypse. Think of me when you look to the night sky.

Space Ghost: What in the depths of your ignorance could you possibly want now?

Space Ghost: Moltar, give me Jeff Foxworthy or give me death!
Moltar: Uh... do I get to pick?
Space Ghost: You wanna go in the box, too?
Moltar: No! No!

Space Ghost: Listen Jeff, I don't like it when people patronize me. Moltar, harvest his skin.
Moltar: Right on!
Space Ghost: Moltar, put the peeler away, or I'm gonna rip off your arm and beat you with it.

Space Ghost: With freedom comes responsibility.
Zorak: With freedom comes nudity.

Space Ghost: I take an entire neighborhood, put it on my head, and dance around where the neighborhood used to be. The people who live in the neighborhood are terrified by my hopping, and some of them fall off my head and are trampled. It is then that the dance becomes a dance of sadness.