Buffy: So something ripped him open and ate out his insides?
Willow: Like an Oreo cookie! Well, except for... you know... without the chocolaty cookie goodness.

Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.

Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell!?

Willow: Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil. And skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay!

Buffy: Now if you two'll excuse me, I need to find something slutty to wear tonight.

Willow: Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving; it's a sham. It's all about death.
Buffy: It is a sham... but... it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham.
Willow: You're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.

Spike: That's what conquering nations do. That's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, "I came; I conquered; I felt really bad about it."

Xander: Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Master... Bator.

Xander: I think you're drawing a lot of crazy conclusions about the Unholy Prince... Bator.

Xander: Where is he? Where's the creep that turned me into a spider-eating man bitch?

Riley: I'm not mad at all. I'm plotting your death... but... in a happy way.

Buffy: Giles, are you breaking up with your car?
Giles: Well, it did seduce me... all red and sporty.
Buffy: Little two-door tramp.

Willow: Oh! There's a microwave! It would be like having hot and cold running popcorn!

Xander: I'm supportive! I'm a flying buttress of support.

Buffy: We do not joke about eating people in this house!

Spike: I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow.